Si

Si j'étais reine ou magicienne
Princesse, fée, grand capitaine
D'un noble régiment
Si j'avais les pas d'un géant

I'll keep this short and simple:

I went to my high school today for their annual awards ceremony. I couldn't help but feel a sense of surrealism as I was met with its familiarity; it was like being me, and sinking right into me, in a good way. If I were a bunny, I'd have flopped over in comfort (video here, it's adorable).

Afterwards, many people expressed that they thought that I would have won the trophy for most outstanding CSEC student. Perhaps this was my goal last year. But, this year, it has ceased to bother me. I didn't care enough for my exams earlier this year. I cracked a book only at the very last minute, and only to skim the notes I'd taken over the past two years to ensure that I, in fact, had a decent memory map of all these things in my head – that is, if I cracked a book at all, for some subjects. The person who won the aforementioned trophy devoted a lot of her time to studying, and took many extra lessons to improve her test-taking skills. But that's what standardized testing is: a test of test-taking skills.

Currently, I'm building a space-thing. Most of my peers have continued to the land of rote memorization (level two) – sixth form. But I am building a space thing. And that makes me happier.

Given the chance to "prepare" better for my exams, I wouldn't take it. I am happy with the choices I made – they gave me spare time to learn about things I found way more interesting than what we were learning in school, and such happiness afforded by this spare time learning is irreplaceable. I would do things exactly the same way again, without shame.

Currently, I'm building a space-thing. But that's only the beginning of my journey. I am ecstatic that it begins with this, no matter how it ends. I cannot trade this happiness for anything else, because happiness never was and never will be a type of currency.

This is just the beginning. But, someday, I'll have the steps of a giant.